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This is gonna be short cuz I don’t have a lot of spoons.
For people who don’t know, race play means play and/or sex where the racial identity of someone is a fetish and/or theme. And in theory, I’m not automatically against taboo racially charged play. It’s not my thing but I am aware that white people and clients usually have some racial element to their play with me (whether it is expressed outloud or not). But I understand the difference between fantasy and reality. Just like some people enjoy rape play or age play, some times pretending and play with problematic subjects can be empowering and sexy.
HOWEVER, I feel it is doing a disservice to people to encourage a moral free-for-all in terms of the bedroom. Meaning? If you want the freedom to create a space where racist shit is reenacted, there needs to be some MAJOR work and conversation about what that means as a piece of the larger landscape we live in. There needs to be aftercare or conversations or SOMETHING to balance that shit out. Because if you really get your rocks off by calling/being called racial slurs by your partner, but you and that partner never discuss how those slurs effect people outside of a sexual context, then you are living in a dangerous fantasy. If you didn’t discuss it outside of fantasy, then it’s not make believe. It’s just you taking the normalized abusive ideas of race in our society and sexualizing them. I don’t condone that.
THAT I find to be fucked up. And that should make you really consider why you are doing it in the first place.